I've been told I was no burden
I wanted it to be true
But many times now in my life
A burden I've been even to me too

Circumstances

They mean well I think when they say
You are not bothering me at all
Then their actions scream louder
You just have to take care of it all

Lonely

Sometimes I get so tired
Of taking care of things alone
I want to stop, just give up
Just rest until it's all gone

Pain

Then I see once more I have to be
That damn adult I've been since age four
It gets so tiring for me
But I have to go on again, once more

Anger

So here I go one more time again
Having to be the grown up I hate so much
Oh to be a child, just once in my life
Just to feel a loving touch....

Need

©Dana Price

December

2013

Tangled ( For Meredith, Shirley, Margo and all who feel this so acutely )

Middle of day, middle of night Darkness set hours ago The gray matter within the head It will not slow

On and on thoughts wind around Like a web so dense Attaching itself firmly To the mind's ground

Silently scream, can't anyone hear? The gray matter, it stills not Adheres to the tangled web Anxiety, Fear

Will the mind ever still? Or go on On into darkness Entangled in screams

No one cares to hear From their busy day or slumber Sound, peaceful Dreams Oh What Is That Like?

Tangled gray matter The thoughts adhered firmly there There is not time to rest it Thoughts of this mess Anxiety, Fear

Was days not so long ago All was black and white Now to be turned to thoughts Blood Red In Darkness alone, Twilight

You see I fear not Darkness It I Truly Love Darkness covers my inward screaming In the gray matter, web of trouble, confusion of Life

Has been years now Since quiet overtook Then was simple to glide by A most Tranquil Brook

Years have made a nest Of disturbance in my Soul Weaving round and round Burning like hot, fiery coal

Quiet, be quiet it screams From within No one cares of your tangled gray matter As out of control it spins

Head up, just smile No one will be the wiser

They don’t want to see The tangled mass in your mind Where is compassion, and thoughtful Just a kind word, just a loving hand

Pain in the tangled web of gray matter As real, more real Than the aches, complained about daily

Now I feel my own Compassion, sympathy and more Why shall I bother the gray matter with “it” anymore? I know now, I must take care of my own Leave “it” to endure, alone!

Just that the gray matter, that haunts me,Anxiety, Fear Cannot be seen, so real the Pain No bandage to help, no pill to swallow To get relief, None!

Nothing to see to bandage In the gray matter of tangled mass So must surely be These dark days, Dear God don’t let them last and last

But on and on, it races and hooks To the thorns of the gray matter Please let this pain within the mind stop God Please help me stop the stressful unending chatter

Let the people around me see I can’t take on their problems too I will put on the full armor of God So Lord now, it’s just me and You
If You can hold back an ocean With just one small shore I know you can help me over this mountain Lord And so very much more
So I will do my best To give it all to You I know the gray matter will still feel tangled Until You make things happy again, and oh so peaceful too.

©Dana Price

The Dream, The Dress and The Rainbow Bridge

The Dress would flow around her as
She walked and danced across that bridge
It was just what she wanted, Perfect, in every way
And it was just beyond the ridge

Oh it was so beautiful you see
Her sanctuary she had built, Tranquility
To get to it she would have to cross
That bridge that turned her Dream to Reality

Yes, the dress was flowing all around her as
She embarked on her journey
With every step she knew that soon
It would happen, just as she wanted it to be

She was but a child, the first time she crossed
And saw what happened then
She danced, and twirled, and lightly stepped upon
Her Rainbow Bridge, she had never been

The first step was Vivid Red,
Then next a Brilliant Orange hue
Then came sunny Yellow
Next a soft Sky Blue

Her next step brought healing Green
Then Deep Royal Purple, almost there
As she stepped and twirled, the Dress would change
To each Color she passed through, without a care

Finally it happened, almost missed by her
The last and final color, as she gently stepped
Soft breezes making the dress and her hair blow softly
As into her innermost self she leapt

It was a Royal Violet,
This deepest part of herself
Then she stepped off that Rainbow Bridge
Into this world she had created, her own hurts for to squelch

That Dress blew softly, perfectly
As she sang and danced with glee
Adorned with every color of that Rainbow Bridge
Throughout, just what she wanted you see

Her Sanctuary, she built it well
Escape to it inner little one
Butterflies, Flowers and Waterfall Ponds
It was so perfectly done

Years pass on, I am older now
Never will my Dress, or Rainbow Bridge go unseen
But only by me, no other will see
That Dress, the Rainbow Bridge
And the Magic of
The Dream...........

©Dana Price

Hand Me Downs

I look around, what do I see
A glorious change all around me
Among the chaos of everyday life
Something is happening with no effort or strife

Summer's green, she is giving away
Autumn comes in, she is starting today
She takes the hand me down Green
She turns it to Gold, Yellow, Red, oh what a scene

I watch in awe, at the perfect dance
As she changes the hues, in just a glance
And now I see Yellow, Red, and Gold all around
Yes, Autumn has done wonders, with her hand me downs

My eyes can't believe, the beauty I see
She dances for days, in sweet harmony
Her clothes of Fall colors, glow all around
But soon it is time, for her to hand them down

As Winter walks in, with power and might
She takes Autumn's colors, to a beautiful white
The brilliance Winter shows, as she glitters and glows
White glistens and glows, in a sparkling show

Winter she dances, and twirls all aglow
She sparkles, she glitters, my what a show
She wants to stay longer, but knows time moves on
Winter sees a tiny Pink bud, and knows she too must give up her hand me downs, and then be gone

Yes, Spring has arrived, she takes Winter's white
She turns her finery to Pink, Red, Lavender, oh what a sight
Her dress of all colors, so many I'm in awe of her hues
Yes, Spring is a Lady of colors, Yellows, Pinks, and Violet Blues

She dances like a Princess
In her gowns of many colors
Not one yet does fade
To see which is more beautiful, my eyes behold her parade

And then among her colors, is a glorious scene
Summer has arrived, in her beautiful Green
Her leaves dark Green velvet, her grasses do grow
But Spring's hand me downs, she still won't quite let go

So they share for awhile
And take that one chance
Spring's colorful hues and Summer's Green
Combine in a short dance

But Summer wants her glory, as she warms more everyday
Soon Summer's warmth is to great
So Spring turns over her hand me downs
And knowing she will return, goes softly on her way

Again Summer bursts out
In the rising Sun each day
She dances in wheat fields
And in flowered meadows that Spring left for her to play

Summer sees children
Splashing in her babbling brooks
And she provides warmth, and a gentle breeze
As she adores all their looks

Then one day, a slight chill fills the air
Summer then knows, the time has come to give up her gowns
For Autumn to step into again
And begin again, her colorful and majestic reign, in her bright hand me downs.

© Dana Price

Out Of The Light, Once Again

You come so quietly, slyly
Like a stealth, out of sight
Sometimes even follows laughter, happiness
Just menial hours or minutes, before you start the fight
Your darkness descends, even in the bright sunlight
You have no regard for my smiles
Your only mission is to erase them
Making sure your presence is know for awhile
You tangle and weave your gnarly fingers
Through the gray matter within my head
Grabbing onto and destroying anything happy
There you take up residence, make your bed
Will you stay so long this time
That you will make the gray matter break
Or just long enough to amuse your ugly self, by watching me battle again
Fighting you for what is mine, that you so want to take
You and I have been on this battle field before
Oh so many times you know
I will put on my armor once again
Eventhough you exhaust me so
You know to well, I battle you alone
You think it's this time you will win
I am left to wonder, question my strength
Over and over again
One thing you have not stolen this time
I have my tears back now
They only push me on, to fight you hard
They are relieving somehow
So keep your gnarly fingers
Woven through my gray matter if you must
I will try to tear your grip down
Once again, on that you can trust
I will never wave that white flag again
Let you conquer me without a fight
So keep your hold tight
I whisper to myself, onward brave soul battle hard
Again I must face this plight
I look up, pray again once more
Grabbing onto my gray matter then
Fighting you on and on, with every fiber in my soul
I won't let you defeat me again
Demonic, devil, depression...I can not let you win!

©Dana E Price

July 20th, 2013

Thank you SKyD Photography ( Sean Dudley ) For This Beautiful Photo and the Inspiration

Summer Rose

Summer sun shimmers
as late afternoon's red hue
casts a beautiful haze
over all I see
and remnants of a beautiful Rose
dictates my view
it's petals scattered
upon the Earth
I remember still
when she bloomed
with a beauty that haunted
my Heart and I was afraid to cut her stem
in fear of losing a friend
Yet Summer comes
with golden sun and stinging heat
with a price so difficult to comprehend
Only my tear remains
as a gorgeous petal
lays still on my palm
yet I will preserve its wonder
that I may evoke
he splendor
that melted my soul.

©Dana Price

Summer 2013

Remembering The Dance

I guess somehow I had forgotten
That this day would inevitably come
I suppose somewhere in my heart
I didn't think, or I hoped, these things would never be over, done
The first day you were so scared but
A little excited too
So off to school you went that first day
Yes, some tears fell as I watched you
Then came the stories of the day
The blooming flower, the bee there too
The falling leaves around your feet
The sky a little more blue
I didn't notice as they rushed past
How fast the years were going by
Hours of homework, what's three times two
How did the sun move
And the moon too
Which great person in history
Did what and oh gosh when
What word is that and what does it mean
Oh to have those days back again
How do you spell that word
I want to eat a snack
Those were some of your favorite words
As I sit here alone and look back
All of a sudden I was going to
Track meets and Drama plays you were in
Excelling at everything you have done
I see now, no one would have guessed
That shy little boy
Is in this life to win
Now, today, as I sit here alone
Looking back at all the memories
That are pressed between the pages of my mind and heart
Feeling a bitter sweet kind of joy
One I have never known
And now the wetness, falling from my eyes
Falling harder as I remember everything now
So now that you have turned the page
To a new chapter in your book of life
Walk on my precious one
In peace, happiness, with a smile on your face and in your heart
I know I must let you go now, just a little bit
To close this chapter, move to the next with all its chance
And as a wise man once said
I guess I could have missed this bittersweet pain but
I would have had to, with you, missed this part of life's dance.

I love you Dylan and I am so very proud of the young man you have become.

As you graduate high school now, may you continue to walk with and trust God in everything you do in life....We Did It!

Love Always,

Nonnie

May 2013

© Dana E Price

Again Free

Looking up she can see
The beauty of Heaven's star's, everyone
It is as if they feel in her
The despair she wants to be done
She gazes up, says another prayer
So often is her plea
Take all of this as far as the stars
Take all of it as far as the sea
She looks again to the stars above
She prays soon for it to be
The inner turmoil to be gone
Then she can smile, remove the mask and
Once again feel
Free.....

© Dana Price

A Look Back To Now

Looking back over yesteryear
I often wonder why
Thoughts of happiness
Bring tears stinging hard
Is it the innocence of those times?
The fields that were so green
Running, playing, laughing
That are no more that sadden
Today let's run once more
Laugh at silly things
Make our own memories again
Today in fields still green...

©Dana E Price

Feb. 15th, 2013

All Rights Reserved

Many Words, Oh Silence

Words are hanging there in space
Finding neither time nor place
For resting
People talk continually
About who they are
What they see
Never even letting there be
Quiet
Need some place where there's a friend
Whose conversation, has an end
Who knows the comforting sound
Of Silence.....

© Dana Price

All Rights Reserved

And So Again

Seems you wretched thing have come to stay.
That pattern on the wall has become almost a friend, company.
Or is it the reminder that this thing is my biggest nemesis?
How long must we have this battle?
You only show yourself when darkness falls.
I don't fear you, I loathe and detest you and yet,
are you born from my own uneasy, clogged grey matter?
Must we have this very same conflict, same time every night?
You seem to know when I am weakest, it is then you gain your strength....
I've grown weary from the fight and yet I have to keep up the battle.
You cannot win!
To allow that, to be defeated by you would surely mean insanity!
My strength in the day light hours, you have kept drained...
Yet I go on, I think you will lose tonight, you have to
I am so exhausted that there's no way you will come again when darkness falls....
Oh how wrong I am once more!!
Now, in the wee hours I sit, planning for our battle yet again...
In just a few hours I'm sure we will meet again...
I will wage war against you yet again...
Hold onto sanity until...
One day when the day breaks, maybe I will hold my arms high in victory...
One day when maybe, I win this war between us....
One time, when darkness falls, you will finally lose!!
It is then I will comfortably, quietly whisper as I drift easily to sleep....
I have won this night over you...
Insomnia!!!

©Dana Price

All Rights Reserved

My Eyes Beheld

I walked alone outside today
Middle of Winter's harsh freeze
I sighed sadly, another Cold Dreary day
Wait, what is this I see

A breathtaking sight overtook my sadness
I couldn't believe my eyes
A beautiful blooming rose
And it was right there in my own yard
A smile within my Heart, overtook my sighs

It almost seemed triumphant
In the Winter's hard cold
Turning its face upward
So confident and bold

It seemed to be trying to tell me
To smile, there is Hope still
Yes my own smile replaced my sadness
Its own life, so full of will

I just stood there in awe of its beauty
Yes, in Winter's cold it could dwell
I felt Hope and Belief in that instant
In that beautiful Bloom, that my eyes beheld.

©Dana Price

All Rights Reserved

Memoirs From This Heart
~
She sat facing the candle, leather luminous in the light of flames.
A flame settled, a shower of sparks scattered up the glass.
The clock, up high, glowing of white, stared down upon the room.
The minute hand moved.
Her watch agreed.
She pulled on the string, releasing a bundle of papers, which scattered on her lap.
She picked one and took a sip from her glass.
The paper made a dry sound as she unfolded it.
The black letters, sharp as the day they were drawn, cut like a sword.
She took a brief look let her gaze drift past the candle,
past the clock, past the faded tans of the walls.
There was no need to read.
She knew each word,
remembered the days and smells,
could not escape the eyes that moistened.
She refolded the sheet and picked up the next.
This she did not open.
The water still flowed through the valley,
tumbled over the rocks, tangled branches and weed in the old water wheel.
Somewhere bread was scattered for ducks that swam in the duckweed.
They waddled through reedy banks to their nests.
Did the rough bench still offer a place to watch?
She wondered.
Her eyes settled on the candle flame,
as she gently touched the sheet, brittle with age.
The flame lay open, inviting, a gateway
between yesterday and tomorrow.
She paused
She drained her glass, replacing it on the wooden surface of the table.
The flame offered release.
The paper bent in her fingers.
She took the string, remade the bundle, walking slowly from the room.

©Dana Price

All Rights Reserved