Just Breathe

And so the time of day has come
Finally almost done
The trials and tests that the harsh light brings
Are now just the memory of those things
The candles are now lit
Their soft flickering soothes my tired spirit
And at last I can finally....
Just Breathe

©Dana Price

Autumn Rose

Autumn sun shimmers
as late afternoon's red hue
casts a beautiful haze
over all I see
and remnants of a beautiful Rose
dictates my view
it's petals scattered
upon the Earth
I remember still
when she bloomed
with a beauty that haunted
my heart
and I was afraid
to cut her stem
in fear of losing
a friend
Yet Autumn comes
with golden sun and stinging frosts
with a price so difficult
to comprehend
Only my tear remains
as a gorgeous petal
lays still on my palm
yet I will preserve
its wonder
that I may evoke
the splendor
that melted my soul.

©Dana Price

It's been forever since my muse took a vacation and hasn't returned :-/ But, soon, very soon

I'm Not A Statue

I am here, don't you see
I am living, I am still me
I hurt inside that you don't see
But I am living, I'm here, I am me

I am as a Statue to you
Like a granite entity
Don't I exist to you anymore?
But I am living, I'm here, I am me

Perfect I will never be
No one is, not even you, you see
Seems I am as a Statue to you
But I am living, I'm here, I am me

Why do you think I always have to be?
Happy and carefree, I have many worries
Seems I am a statue to you
But I am living, I'm here, I am me

You never anymore even notice me
The deep wounds I live with daily
Seems I am a statue to you
But I am living, I'm here, I am me

A statue only stands there
No words, no tears, no smile to see
Even a statue needs to be noticed and
I am living, I'm here, I am me

Middle of the dark night, now alone again
The ink from my pen bleeds out dry
How strange, I thought a statue
Couldn't write, or feel or cry

My tears again flow freely, now in the dark
My deepest pain and sorrow, no one sees
That I am not a statue, made of stone
I am living, I'm here, I am me.

©Dana Price

Wishes
I wish everyday
The sky was clear blue
Then I wish for clouds
And raindrops too
Then after the rain
I wish for a rainbow's hues
To cover the Heavens
For the world to view
I wish for Peace
For all mankind
For days that are quiet
And nights that are kind
I wish for minds
Free of worry and fear
And hearts so gentle
To love and to cheer
I wish for wealth
No, not money or fame
Only for a wealth of happiness
Life is precious, not a game
But most of all
I wish for Love
A gentle touch, for all mankind
From God above

© Dana Price

November 4th, 2014

The Men In Gucci Suits OR How I Watched America Die!

Some ask why I stay in a very small bubble
They question so much until I say
The other huge place you call society
I care not to be part of that decay
The darkened, ugly secrets
The corpses, dead , maggot ridden
Rotting, stinking, loathsome
That is this world today!
They cheer when we go to war
Go to the place of death, disease
Bravo to the ones who send
Them to the bloody, cockroach, stench filled gutter
It sickens me to watch you
Your cheers of glee and support
Nothing you would do yourself
Oh no, to that you wouldn't resort
But send in the band and ammo
Have no worries when you do
Drink another glass of Champagne
There in your Gucci suit
With your silver headed cane
There on the sidewalk you see
What you find so easy to ignore
The one who has been to where
Your first whore came from before
The only companion that will be seen tonight
Is laying right beside
Trying to get warm and keep
The one he loves warm too
You sicken me, all of you
Who turn your backs so easily on
The one who lays there, shivering or sweating
Who fought when ordered, from dark on through the dawn
Let sleeping does lie, is that what it is
You cowards, you filthy lying scum
Yet that one is proud, the medals say it's so
Trampled through a jungle or desert for you
Now you just forget them, let them go
Then send in the new dogs
The ones you haven't yet beaten down
If they make it back, bringing their own hell too
Again, you will turn your backs
That is just what you do
So, sleep with the blood and disease tonight
On your hands of which you pretend you don't know
May your flesh rot from your bones slowly
It's what you're doing to us, we can't even say No!
God help us all, for your mistakes
That we were not allowed to stop
I whisper a prayer that all of us
Will see your maggot ridden body finally drop!!

©Dana Price

2014

Yes I am suffering from Depression/Anxiety/PTSD
No, it can not be cured
Yes, it hurts all over
No, I am not crazy
Yes, the physical pain also is real
No, it's not " just nerves"
Yes, it IS all in my brain chemicals and what has happened to me in my life
No, I have no control over those things
Yes, situations can make it worse
No, I can't just " get over it "
Yes, I can fight it and do every minute of every day
No, you can not " cure " heart disease
Yes, at times you can make it a little better
No, you can not cure Depression and Mental Illness
Yes, you will always be predisposed to it once you've had it
No, it will never truly be " cured "
Yes, I want more than anything for you to understand
No, I can not make you educate yourselves
Yes, I can ignore your ignorance if you don't
No, I won't respect your decision not to educate yourselves
Yes, I will probably withdraw from you
No, I will never hate you
Yes, I can dislike your decision
No, I do not like your ignoance
Yes, I can distance myself from you
No, I really don't want to
Yes, I have to due to your sometimes hurtful words and ways
No, I don't like to do it
Yes, I will for my own protection from your negativity
No, I don't need that, I deal with enough of it within my mind
Yes, I will continue this battle as bad as it hurts
No, you don't have to understand the change in me
Yes, there will be a change in me
No, you don't have to like it
Yes, I will fight for me now
No, I doubt if you will like the change
Yes, I will be the true ME now
No, I won't wear this mask any longer
Yes, I am tired of hiding my true feelings
No, I won't hide ME any more!
©Dana Price
Sept 2014

I'm Only Human

I'm only human
God made me so
I'm only human
It's so hard to let go
The hell in my life I have been through
The trauma is still there
I'm only human
I love, I trust, I care
I'm only human
I forget about me daily along the way
I'm only human
I have to dig deep for me, everyday
I'm only human
I have fears, and I am scared too
I am only human
I am no more nor less than you
I'm only human
Please don't tell me to "cheer up"
I'm only human
So much fills my cup
I'm only human
Trying to get it right
With God I know it's possible
To continue this fight, with all my might
I'm only human
Can't just make 'it' just go away
I'm only human
A child afraid still
I'm only human
An angry child, exposed so young to many horror's
So for me you see
I'm only human
And "it" is Never Over!

©Dana Price

2014

A Look Back To Now

Looking back over yesteryear
I often wonder why
Thoughts of happiness
Bring tears stinging hard
Is it the innocence of times?
Were the fields so green?
Running, playing, laughing
That never was, that sadden
Today let's run
Laugh at silly things
Make our own memories
Today while fields are still green...

©Dana E Price

All Rights Reserved

Paradise In The Sky

Can you hear the wish I make each night
While I gaze at my shining star
Do you know my voice, or feel my hearts touch
Whether I am near or far
Everywhere within my realm
Do you sense me wanting to be near
I fill the very sky around me with
My wishes, my dreams and my fears
Watching the moon, so beautiful, so full
Draped in its shadowy lace
Then very soon, right before my eyes
It's face becomes your face
I sit awhile, upon a cloud in my mind
To hold your memory near
Gentle breezes all about
Are whispers in my ear
Sweet are the thoughts I think now
So genuine is my smile
I want to steal your heart away
So we can dream together for awhile
I send my drape of the Moon and Stars
And invisible wings you can borrow
Then you can fly above the Earth
Where there is no tomorrow
Then if maybe you see me there
Maybe hear my gentle tune
You will find my Paradise way up here
First left turn just past the Moon.

©Dana Price

All Rights Reserved

A P O L O G E T I C?

A P O L O G E T I C?

Why does it always seem
That I am saying I'm sorry, I failed
When it is other people that
Need to step back and take a hard look at themselves

No, you sure are not perfect
You have problems too
I just choose not to hide mine
Hide, Oh Hide like you!

Oh I used to hide
A long time ago
It got tiring and was to hard
I finally stopped and so

Don’t you dare condemn me
For the way I am today
You are so imperfect
In so very many ways!

Step back, take a look
At the you of today
Then I dare you to belittle anyone
Everything has been handed to you, in your way!

Well, well, you won't like this but
It stops, here and now
Find your own way you self-centered ass
Let's see how good you do all alone this time, now!!!

©Dana Price

WRITTEN FOR THOSE WHO CARE ONLY ABOUT THEMSELF!!

The Battle Won

I heard it in the distance
One clear and starry eve
Wondered what it was
That was hissing and screeching, carried on the breeze

I felt an icy chill
Come over me, that's when
I begged for some sort of magic
To take it away I thought, this awful howling wind

Then I saw it happening
Before my very eyes
A Wizard and A Dragon
Locked in battle, one would meet demise

The Dragon had tried his patience again
The Wizard would have no more
The old Wizard still did not know
What the Dragon hated him for

You see this was not the first time
These two warriors had met
Many years had seen them battle
Neither winning this war yet

But this night would be different
I could tell from my hiding place
That the old Wizard was determined to win tonight
I saw it on his face

He gathered all his magic this time
He would defeat the Dragon this night
The old Wizard was tired of wondering
Why for years this fight

The Dragon always came
When the old man was feeling so low
He wondered why that always was
Did the Dragon think he would then deal his final blow

He was weary of this battle of years
Something else was on his mind
Thoughts of one he had lost, many years before
His fault he thought, because he was one of his own kind

Then he heard the Dragon's roar again
Almost sorrowful he had thought
Again he thought of the one he lost
Whose life he could not save, that fateful night he fought

But enough of this, he was so tired
Tonight his best magic he would use
He went and met the Dragon again
Tonight he would not lose

Then tears welled in his eyes, thinking "tonight it is done"
The Dragon stopped hissing, and began also to cry
In that moment they both realized, he was the one years ago lost
Not dead but a Dragon, a spell put upon
He was the old Wizard's son....

©Dana Price

I've been told I was no burden
I wanted it to be true
But many times now in my life
A burden I've been even to me too

Circumstances

They mean well I think when they say
You are not bothering me at all
Then their actions scream louder
You just have to take care of it all

Lonely

Sometimes I get so tired
Of taking care of things alone
I want to stop, just give up
Just rest until it's all gone

Pain

Then I see once more I have to be
That damn adult I've been since age four
It gets so tiring for me
But I have to go on again, once more

Anger

So here I go one more time again
Having to be the grown up I hate so much
Oh to be a child, just once in my life
Just to feel a loving touch....

Need

©Dana Price

December

2013

Tangled ( For Meredith, Shirley, Margo and all who feel this so acutely )

Middle of day, middle of night Darkness set hours ago The gray matter within the head It will not slow

On and on thoughts wind around Like a web so dense Attaching itself firmly To the mind's ground

Silently scream, can't anyone hear? The gray matter, it stills not Adheres to the tangled web Anxiety, Fear

Will the mind ever still? Or go on On into darkness Entangled in screams

No one cares to hear From their busy day or slumber Sound, peaceful Dreams Oh What Is That Like?

Tangled gray matter The thoughts adhered firmly there There is not time to rest it Thoughts of this mess Anxiety, Fear

Was days not so long ago All was black and white Now to be turned to thoughts Blood Red In Darkness alone, Twilight

You see I fear not Darkness It I Truly Love Darkness covers my inward screaming In the gray matter, web of trouble, confusion of Life

Has been years now Since quiet overtook Then was simple to glide by A most Tranquil Brook

Years have made a nest Of disturbance in my Soul Weaving round and round Burning like hot, fiery coal

Quiet, be quiet it screams From within No one cares of your tangled gray matter As out of control it spins

Head up, just smile No one will be the wiser

They don’t want to see The tangled mass in your mind Where is compassion, and thoughtful Just a kind word, just a loving hand

Pain in the tangled web of gray matter As real, more real Than the aches, complained about daily

Now I feel my own Compassion, sympathy and more Why shall I bother the gray matter with “it” anymore? I know now, I must take care of my own Leave “it” to endure, alone!

Just that the gray matter, that haunts me,Anxiety, Fear Cannot be seen, so real the Pain No bandage to help, no pill to swallow To get relief, None!

Nothing to see to bandage In the gray matter of tangled mass So must surely be These dark days, Dear God don’t let them last and last

But on and on, it races and hooks To the thorns of the gray matter Please let this pain within the mind stop God Please help me stop the stressful unending chatter

Let the people around me see I can’t take on their problems too I will put on the full armor of God So Lord now, it’s just me and You
If You can hold back an ocean With just one small shore I know you can help me over this mountain Lord And so very much more
So I will do my best To give it all to You I know the gray matter will still feel tangled Until You make things happy again, and oh so peaceful too.

©Dana Price

The Dream, The Dress and The Rainbow Bridge

The Dress would flow around her as
She walked and danced across that bridge
It was just what she wanted, Perfect, in every way
And it was just beyond the ridge

Oh it was so beautiful you see
Her sanctuary she had built, Tranquility
To get to it she would have to cross
That bridge that turned her Dream to Reality

Yes, the dress was flowing all around her as
She embarked on her journey
With every step she knew that soon
It would happen, just as she wanted it to be

She was but a child, the first time she crossed
And saw what happened then
She danced, and twirled, and lightly stepped upon
Her Rainbow Bridge, she had never been

The first step was Vivid Red,
Then next a Brilliant Orange hue
Then came sunny Yellow
Next a soft Sky Blue

Her next step brought healing Green
Then Deep Royal Purple, almost there
As she stepped and twirled, the Dress would change
To each Color she passed through, without a care

Finally it happened, almost missed by her
The last and final color, as she gently stepped
Soft breezes making the dress and her hair blow softly
As into her innermost self she leapt

It was a Royal Violet,
This deepest part of herself
Then she stepped off that Rainbow Bridge
Into this world she had created, her own hurts for to squelch

That Dress blew softly, perfectly
As she sang and danced with glee
Adorned with every color of that Rainbow Bridge
Throughout, just what she wanted you see

Her Sanctuary, she built it well
Escape to it inner little one
Butterflies, Flowers and Waterfall Ponds
It was so perfectly done

Years pass on, I am older now
Never will my Dress, or Rainbow Bridge go unseen
But only by me, no other will see
That Dress, the Rainbow Bridge
And the Magic of
The Dream...........

©Dana Price

Hand Me Downs

I look around, what do I see
A glorious change all around me
Among the chaos of everyday life
Something is happening with no effort or strife

Summer's green, she is giving away
Autumn comes in, she is starting today
She takes the hand me down Green
She turns it to Gold, Yellow, Red, oh what a scene

I watch in awe, at the perfect dance
As she changes the hues, in just a glance
And now I see Yellow, Red, and Gold all around
Yes, Autumn has done wonders, with her hand me downs

My eyes can't believe, the beauty I see
She dances for days, in sweet harmony
Her clothes of Fall colors, glow all around
But soon it is time, for her to hand them down

As Winter walks in, with power and might
She takes Autumn's colors, to a beautiful white
The brilliance Winter shows, as she glitters and glows
White glistens and glows, in a sparkling show

Winter she dances, and twirls all aglow
She sparkles, she glitters, my what a show
She wants to stay longer, but knows time moves on
Winter sees a tiny Pink bud, and knows she too must give up her hand me downs, and then be gone

Yes, Spring has arrived, she takes Winter's white
She turns her finery to Pink, Red, Lavender, oh what a sight
Her dress of all colors, so many I'm in awe of her hues
Yes, Spring is a Lady of colors, Yellows, Pinks, and Violet Blues

She dances like a Princess
In her gowns of many colors
Not one yet does fade
To see which is more beautiful, my eyes behold her parade

And then among her colors, is a glorious scene
Summer has arrived, in her beautiful Green
Her leaves dark Green velvet, her grasses do grow
But Spring's hand me downs, she still won't quite let go

So they share for awhile
And take that one chance
Spring's colorful hues and Summer's Green
Combine in a short dance

But Summer wants her glory, as she warms more everyday
Soon Summer's warmth is to great
So Spring turns over her hand me downs
And knowing she will return, goes softly on her way

Again Summer bursts out
In the rising Sun each day
She dances in wheat fields
And in flowered meadows that Spring left for her to play

Summer sees children
Splashing in her babbling brooks
And she provides warmth, and a gentle breeze
As she adores all their looks

Then one day, a slight chill fills the air
Summer then knows, the time has come to give up her gowns
For Autumn to step into again
And begin again, her colorful and majestic reign, in her bright hand me downs.

© Dana Price

Out Of The Light, Once Again

You come so quietly, slyly
Like a stealth, out of sight
Sometimes even follows laughter, happiness
Just menial hours or minutes, before you start the fight
Your darkness descends, even in the bright sunlight
You have no regard for my smiles
Your only mission is to erase them
Making sure your presence is know for awhile
You tangle and weave your gnarly fingers
Through the gray matter within my head
Grabbing onto and destroying anything happy
There you take up residence, make your bed
Will you stay so long this time
That you will make the gray matter break
Or just long enough to amuse your ugly self, by watching me battle again
Fighting you for what is mine, that you so want to take
You and I have been on this battle field before
Oh so many times you know
I will put on my armor once again
Eventhough you exhaust me so
You know to well, I battle you alone
You think it's this time you will win
I am left to wonder, question my strength
Over and over again
One thing you have not stolen this time
I have my tears back now
They only push me on, to fight you hard
They are relieving somehow
So keep your gnarly fingers
Woven through my gray matter if you must
I will try to tear your grip down
Once again, on that you can trust
I will never wave that white flag again
Let you conquer me without a fight
So keep your hold tight
I whisper to myself, onward brave soul battle hard
Again I must face this plight
I look up, pray again once more
Grabbing onto my gray matter then
Fighting you on and on, with every fiber in my soul
I won't let you defeat me again
Demonic, devil, depression...I can not let you win!

©Dana E Price

July 20th, 2013

Thank you SKyD Photography ( Sean Dudley ) For This Beautiful Photo and the Inspiration

Summer Rose

Summer sun shimmers
as late afternoon's red hue
casts a beautiful haze
over all I see
and remnants of a beautiful Rose
dictates my view
it's petals scattered
upon the Earth
I remember still
when she bloomed
with a beauty that haunted
my Heart and I was afraid to cut her stem
in fear of losing a friend
Yet Summer comes
with golden sun and stinging heat
with a price so difficult to comprehend
Only my tear remains
as a gorgeous petal
lays still on my palm
yet I will preserve its wonder
that I may evoke
he splendor
that melted my soul.

©Dana Price

Summer 2013

Remembering The Dance

I guess somehow I had forgotten
That this day would inevitably come
I suppose somewhere in my heart
I didn't think, or I hoped, these things would never be over, done
The first day you were so scared but
A little excited too
So off to school you went that first day
Yes, some tears fell as I watched you
Then came the stories of the day
The blooming flower, the bee there too
The falling leaves around your feet
The sky a little more blue
I didn't notice as they rushed past
How fast the years were going by
Hours of homework, what's three times two
How did the sun move
And the moon too
Which great person in history
Did what and oh gosh when
What word is that and what does it mean
Oh to have those days back again
How do you spell that word
I want to eat a snack
Those were some of your favorite words
As I sit here alone and look back
All of a sudden I was going to
Track meets and Drama plays you were in
Excelling at everything you have done
I see now, no one would have guessed
That shy little boy
Is in this life to win
Now, today, as I sit here alone
Looking back at all the memories
That are pressed between the pages of my mind and heart
Feeling a bitter sweet kind of joy
One I have never known
And now the wetness, falling from my eyes
Falling harder as I remember everything now
So now that you have turned the page
To a new chapter in your book of life
Walk on my precious one
In peace, happiness, with a smile on your face and in your heart
I know I must let you go now, just a little bit
To close this chapter, move to the next with all its chance
And as a wise man once said
I guess I could have missed this bittersweet pain but
I would have had to, with you, missed this part of life's dance.

I love you Dylan and I am so very proud of the young man you have become.

As you graduate high school now, may you continue to walk with and trust God in everything you do in life....We Did It!

Love Always,

Nonnie

May 2013

© Dana E Price